Monday, April 15, 2013

The daily rollercoaster that is PTSD is exhausting. Our personal rollercoaster in on a week long cycle. mondays are fine, throughout the week the tension and stress builds, then Friday is the blow up. It has become so routine that I expect it.
I am not sure why things go this way, it just seems to be the norm at my house now. The kids expect it, heck, even the dogs know it is coming.
This week the eruption was a result of our oldest not wearing his slippers. Such a little thing. I know there are people out there that are obsessed with slippers. I am not one of those people. I feel that slippers are only beneficial if they are NEVER WORN OUTSIDE. Now this particular incident consisted of my son NOT going outside because he had no slippers on and had to retrive his shoes.
I know, I know, the blow up wasn't really about the damn slippers. I know it was an accumulation of things that had built up all week and the slippers were simply the catalyst that set off the explosion.
How to get past these explosions? Communication of course. But we have TBI and PTSD standing in the way of that communication. I am still working on the best way to hurdle those obsticles on a daily basis and eventually avoid the weekly explosion.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

black spots

So my husband finally went to the doctor. After 6 months of me badgering him, he relented.
Of course this was not until he was coughing up blood.
The doctor did an x-ray and found a black spot on his lungs. The spot is round, which is promising from what I understand (i am by no means a medical professional). From what I gather a round spot is likely to indicate an infection that the body is trying to contain, while a spot that has branches showes spreading.
A fast pack of antibiotics with an additional antibiotic is what he was given. Plus another x-ray after two weeks.
Afghanistan has no EPA (Enviromental Protection Agency). They have no standards and there is a lot of concern for our sailors, soldiers, and airmen over there as indicated by this exerpt from the Veterans Benefits Administration:
(VBA) Training Letter 10-03, the VBA noted that such "burn
pits" are located at "every location wherein the military has
positioned a forward operating base (FOB)." The Training Letter
goes on to discusses the type and concentration of particulate
matter generated by these "burn pits" and recommends that
"because of the widespread nature of the burn pits, and the
inability of military personnel records to identify all duty
locations, the Veteran's lay statement of burn pit exposure
generally will be sufficient to establish the occurrence of such
exposure if the Veteran served in Iraq, Afghanistan, or
Djibouti." In consideration of the recommendations made in VBA
Training Letter 10-03, the Board finds that the Veteran was
exposed to fumes generated by a "burn pit" as a result of the
time, place, and circumstances of his Afghanistan service.
38 U.S.C.A. § 1154(a).

And a leaked Army Memo said exposure could lead to long term respritory problems.

So now we wait.............................

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

I have been away so long

It has been a while. Well, over a year. But A LOT has been going on.
I'll have to recount things as I go, that is a lot of catching up.
My husband came home. All in one piece. Thank God! Now we are in the midst of dealing with the effects of the deployment. We all survived, and will continue to.
PTSD, Head Trauma, Tinnitus, those are a few of the things that he is dealing with right now. I am trying to help where and when I can, but this is really something that is only on him. I cannot do much to help, despite my desire to. So I am left to show how much I appreciate and support him while he makes the journey alone.
The VA has done an incredible job thus far helping us out. They are offering treatment for everything they can. They are even offering us marriage counseling.
We had went through marriage counseling when he first got back, a referral from Military One Source. (an excellent source of help and resources.) But we both agree that that counseling may not have been as effective as it could have been. When he came back there was a flurry of activity and a lot of adjusting. Now that things have settled into a rhythm we can see where we need help, where our relationship needs assistance.
Flash backs happen, hypersensitivity happens; and I am lucky to have one of the guys that recognizes it and is willing to put in the work to fix it. As much as it can be fixed.
They need our support, prayers, and above all, our love.