Tuesday, July 12, 2011

From both sides of the fence.....

When I was active duty I never felt any sympathy for the wives that were left behind while their husbands deployed. As a wife now I still do not feel sorry for them. However, now I do have some empathy. I see just what it is like to be the one left at home to take care of everything while keeping my sanity and putting on the happy face every day.
I was a single parent while active duty so I already knew what it would be like to take care of home and family alone. What I didn't expect was all the additional duties that would be before me simply due to being married.
As a single parent I didn't have to worry about any other adult, everything was on my terms. I was able to do everything from setting bedtimes to ordering the cable package in accordance to what I wanted and how it fit into my schedule. These are the types of things that I no longer decide alone, I am on a team now and we make team decisions.
I now have to deal with a daughter that cries for daddy when she is upset and a son who is not getting the male influence he needs. Before these were not issues, as I was the one and only parent.
When I deployed and had to leave my oldest son I had a hard time dealing with the separation. So I know what it is like for my husband, I may not understand the stresses of the particular job he is doing, but I do understand just how hard it is to be away. Over time he is coming to understand how hard this job is for me. How not having him here affects our lives. For me it is a lot of little things, not nearly the big huge absence he feels right now.
So what do I do to help him? I send packages, notes, cards, and emails. I make sure that he feels loved from miles and miles away. After all, isn't that what we all really want anyhow??


  1. You deserve better!

    Just my 2 cents

  2. You don't understand. I don't think I deserve better. My husband is a great man who is willing to risk his life to ensure a future for me and my children. Due to his sacrifices we are able to maintain a confortable life and I am able to stay home with my children while they are young, a luxury many families do not have. He treats us with love and respect, this is all just part of the life of a military family, no one of us has it any worse, it is just different.